Hello, World of the Blog

Hi there. Most of you haven't heard of me. My username is Hooligans in Penny Loafers. I've never blogged before, mostly because once you start blogging, you're doomed to a life of at least three posts a day and inside jokes with your computer. But I thought, what the hay? Let's start a blog and post it to my Facebook wall. I also have a YouTube channel, and maybe I'll post the link there.Yeah, I have no life. I'm gonna keep these posts short and sweet, except for todays, because yesterday was Thanksgiving and this morning I had Bacon-Brows. So here we go.

Yesterday, on the blessed Turkey Day, the occasion was held at our house. I'm not one to judge, but I'm sure my cousins and uncles and aunts thought 'what are all these piles of junk laying around the household?' even though we spent hours cleaning. I Swiffer WetJetted the whole house, and danced along to Micheal Buble. Everything was fine and dandy this Thanksgiving day, until we started eating. Then came the stifled giggles and guffaws from me. My cousin couldn't figure out how the gosh-darned fancy salt shaker worked, and she pulled off the top and sent salt granules flying over my precious WetJetted floors. Now, I didn't care much that the dog was getting high on salt. I was trying not to choke on my mouthful of runny potatoes, because I was trying not to laugh. And then the same thing happened with the pepper. And I full on giggled. And received a hateful glare from the cousin. So what am I thankful for? I'm thankful for simple salt & pepper shakers, and Swiffer Wet Jets.

Next. This morning, I was chilling at the hair salon, and I was about to get my first eyebrow waxing. As I laid down  in the leather chair I prayed to the Father Above Us 'PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HURT GOD!' as the hair-dresser placed the hot wax, what I thought, a little too close to my seeing area. As I looked relaxed on the outside, I was having a paranoid schizophrenic attack on the inside. And... It didn't hurt one bit. Not until after the waxing. Not until I was reading Vogue magazine did my eyebrows begin to sting like Holy Butts and look like bacon before it's cooked. I still have to admit, my seductive eyebrow raise looks ten times better now that it doesn't look like there are parasites in my eyebrows.